letting go

Realistically I could never get rid of tumblr because it gives me the illusion of a community of strange young women all around my same age, all slowly figuring out how to live too

the worst thing in the world is doing things. the second worst thing in the world is not doing things. how has no one ever come up with a solution for this

This is a comedy

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave” 

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

I’ve found my new life goal

#all they serve is cunt

instagram post: *video of a woman gently encouraging a hesitant child to go down a slide*

the first comment: this woman is violently pressuring her child to do something that they are clearly terrified to do, children should NEVER have to do anything they don't want to do, this kid is being abused and will grow up to hate their mother i hope someone calls cps on her

the second comment: kids are so thin skinned these days if it were my kid i would push it down the slide and laugh at it if it cried. this is the only way we will win the culture war

the third comment: she should have used a condom. this would make a great condom ad. no one cares that someone came in you. kids are not human. i hate kids so much.

the fourth comment: DM ME """HELP""" 🤝💪😤 I AM PAYING OFF DEBT OF FIRST 5 🎉 TO DM 💯💯💵💵 DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY 😍

anyway I love things like having independence, being intelligent, taking pride in my skills, not feigning incompetence, referring to myself as a woman instead of a girl, aging unapologetically, having pores, stretch marks, grey hairs, wrinkles and body fat, listening to my body's needs, eating as much as I need to satisfy my hunger, being bare-faced, wearing comfortable clothes, etcetera

Britain shows up on the EU's doorstep in the rain, holding flowers they've clearly been clenching too tightly.

From their face it's clear they've been hurting, but it was all self inflicted, and they are so sorry, do you take Britain back?

There is one BIG option missing here:

YES, but without all the special bits they were allowed before Brexit

So UK adopting Euro, Schengen, etc etc. Being one more from the club and not demanding being treated as the very special specialest little boy anymore.

Seriously, some of you may be too young or too non-EUpean to remember, but for most of my life, the news about the EU always been something like

The European Union approves a directive to forbid kicking little kittens in their little soft heads

The UK had forced an opt-out so the British could keep their god-given right to kick little kittens in their little soft heads

I'm going with yes, but with the above.

#but I also feel like we could be more petty#we could allow scotland and wales back but leave out england (via @ghostofaminaanima)

tell me they’re not in love? you can’t.